Wednesday, March 25, 2020

25/31 #SOL20 Exhaustion

What does exhaustion feel like?  I thought I knew.  I have birthed a child and then spent those first few weeks trying to survive on little to no sleep.  I have known the feeling when days and nights blend together.

What does exhaustion feel like?  I thought I knew.  I have pulled all nighters in college, trying to write a term paper in one night (In all honestly, I actually liked to play a game with myself to see how late I could wait to start and finish in time...English major problems.).  I have known that sleep-deprived, caffeine-induced, bloodshot eyes feeling.

What does exhaustion feel like?  I thought I knew.  And then the past several days happened or maybe it was a week or maybe a day or maybe this all happened in the span of a few hours...I don't have a concept of time anymore.  Like the rest of the world, this new, bizarre nightmare that I keep thinking I will wake up from, has turned my normal routine on its side.  Actually it took my normal routine, spun it around a few times, stopped it, spun it in the opposite direction, shook it, stomped on it, shoved it, dumped cold water on it, and then patted it on the back and said...off you go, good luck.

What does exhaustion feel like?  Today, it feels like carrying the weight of all my staff, my students, my families on my shoulders, while also fiercely wrapping my arms around my own babies and trying to shield them from viruses and press releases and a scary, unknown world, and then sobbing uncontrollably into my husband's chest while he squeezes me until I can't breathe.

What does exhaustion feel like?  Today, it feels like my head and my heart hurt.

I would give anything for newborn baby exhaustion or naive college night cramming exhaustion.

5 comments:

  1. I feel you! I think administrators have been hit particularly hard. Personally, I'm in awe of what our principals have done to support us.

    Thanks for showing up today.

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  2. Thanks for illustrating what countless readers are feeling now: exhaustion like we've never known.

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  3. Thank you for sharing. I think a lot of us are feeling this way.

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  4. You got it so right!! I finally felt a little relief today, until...........the press conference. Here we go all over again...more uncertainty, more weeks of no connection, and more unchartered waters which brings the exhaustion back full force again. It is eyebrows, eyelids, and eyelashes that hurt tired.....we will get through this together!!

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25/31 #SOL20 Exhaustion

What does exhaustion feel like?  I thought I knew.  I have birthed a child and then spent those first few weeks trying to survive on littl...